The FIVE questions
They have been floating for some time around the blog-o-sphere, now it's my turn.I asked Newboy what he would ask of me, here they are:
1. Which is more challenging, coming out as gay or coming out as pagan?
This is probably the easiest of the five. It is more challenging to come out of the "broom closet" of being pagan then revealing to people I'm gay. That is largely due to where the public is. Social attitudes towards homosexuality are changing, it is not politically correct to bash gays anymore, and discrimination against us queer folk is generally frowned upon as well. Many people know other gay people, see them as normal people and do not see them as a threat. These are all great things, things paganism really does not yet enjoy.
Your average pagan isn't well received in the community at large, partly due to the Christian influence in our society, but mostly I believe to a lack of understanding of what paganism is, and is not. People fear other people they do not understand. Most people know that "Real Witches" don't have green faces and pimply noses, and therefore aren't as non-threatening as those depicted in cinema and popular culture. Instead, there's a common perception that witches are devil worshipers and summoners of demons and other evils, which is simply not true, but try explaining that to someone that’s reacting emotionally to the information you’re a witch. Add to all this that not all pagans are witches and the issue gets more complicated. Neo-paganism enjoys a wide berth of culture and religious influence and is eclectic as a whole. In all honesty, it's easier to define paganism by what it's not, then what it is. That makes it difficult to come out of the proverbial cleaning cupboard in casual conversations, as much education and understanding needs to take place.
As a gay man, I'm lucky that previous generations have fought for the education of the populace on what homosexuality is, and that they have won a great degree of understanding by society in that respect. As a pagan, that understanding does not yet exist, and due to the incredibly personal and private nature of most pagan faith streams, that understanding will probably remain absent for quite a long time.
2. You've always been more suited to being self-employed than to being an employee...why?
I'm not sure that’s a fair assessment, and I've put a ton of thought into this. I think you come to that conclusion because I work better independent of supervision (not saying I can't or don't work well in teams, that's not the case, I do, but micro-managers and I often find conflict on the horizon.) I think the cause of this maybe due to what some would term as naive or idealistic, (and if such is the case, than so be it) but I can’t work with people who are unethical, who don't do what they say they’re going to do, and who devalue and degrade the work I do.
I work excellently in the hospital, as an employee. I think that in itself disproves your theory, though it does lend itself to thought. I work well in the hospital because I'm given a task to do, I've been trained how to do it, I go about it and when it's done I get the next one. No supervision required. That doesn't mean I'm not accountable if I screw up, but I don't have someone peering over my shoulder or monitoring what I do with my downtime or whatever and that makes my job a lot easier and rewarding. I'm good at what I do, I always have been, not matter what it is that I get tasked with in my employment. What I don't deal well with is managers who think they know my job better than me and make it they're self-serving mission to crush morale.
Every job I've ever lost or quit can be traced to one route cause; Low morale and pure apathy. I just stopped caring. When I stop caring, I start showing up late, which gets me turfed. I know that's not the way to deal with things, and I haven't realized the pattern until you posed this question to me, but as I go back through my employment history, that's what I find. I realize this is something I need to work on, as tardiness is a warning flag for me, now I know why, for that I thank you.
Every job I’ve lost, it’s because I stopped caring. I know I’m probably a manager’s nightmare, but I have my values and I’ll stick with them. My ethics and the ethics of the profession are not something just on paper, but something I take to heart. Maybe that’s why I seem more suited to do it on my own, because I’m stubborn, independent and stick to my ethics and moral code.
And mom, before you or anyone else says that’s the reality of life, I disagree, it doesn’t have to be, and when I find an organization that jives with my needs, I stick around. The hospital is one such place, and I intend to stay. Just this time, if things start to go sour, I’ll be more aware and able to deal with it.
3. Is it better to remain friends with your exes or should the ties just be cut?
Silly rabbit! That is a dumb question if there ever was one. Your answer lays in your question. If you and your ex are friends afterwards, then why abandon it just because of previous context?
I think relationships (the boyfriend type) degrade because your friendship with the person degrades, you just realize you don't want to be around this person anymore. In that case, there's nothing to salvage, bid adieu. However, if you part ways because you realize that you'd be better friends then maintain the friendship post mortem. Whether or not someone is your ex should not denote in anyway their status as your friend, those are two separate privileges. I’m not saying that your lover is not your friend also, what I’m saying is that there’s no guarantee that someone will always be one or the other, or hopefully, both.
Btw, ties are never cut, memories and emotions always linger, a few threads always remain.
4. What is the single most positive thing paganism has done for the world?
I so would have loved to slap you for such a difficult question, than I realized it wasn't. Paganism hasn't done anything for the world; no faith system has, not any more than any other. The value is in what it offers, not what it has accomplished. It offers an understanding of self, world and spirit in a way that I could not find anywhere else. It is the medium with which Spirit calls to me and communicates.
The single greatest thing that paganism has done for the world? It has opened my eyes, filled my heart, tickled my soul, and connected me to Spirit. What more is needed?
5. If you were going to a desert island for a year, with all your physical needs (food, shelter, etc.) taken care of, what three things would you take and why?
1) Tavish: While not a thing he fulfils me.
2) A solar powered notebook: The things I could create in a year, the stuff I could read and write, and draw. Wow. That would be the tool I choose to take.
3) A solar powered satellite modem: While I wouldn't mind being isolated, I couldn't stand being disconnected. The world progress whether you are there to observe it or not. Like now, I like to keep tabs on what's going on, even if I don't invest a whole lot of time in that pursuit.
I'm a geek, what can I say? At least I'm still a romantic at heart.
RULES
1 - Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
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