What does God need with a starship?
To get to the other side of the galaxy of course. (?)Or if Friday was any indication, to just get off the Deerfoot.
Friday night, at least I think it was Friday night, could have been Saturday night, probably was, but whatever, Tavish and I went out for the evening. I went to a friend of his to pick him up and then we headed down to North Glenmore Park and I let him practice driving my truck (a Standard/Manual Ford Ranger) for a few hours. Boy was that fun. My neck is still sore. Anyway, we went down there and he drove around for a bit until it got dark then we decided to drive around the park and check things out, as it is a commonly known cruising spot here in Calgary. There was some activity going on, not much though, as it was raining out, and we didn't do anything other than watch the dance that these men go through to hook-up with each other. In all honesty, I felt sorry for them, the internet offers many resources such as Squirt or Gay.com to achieve that particular end. I believe it was around 23:30 when things started to die down, we had obviously missed seeing Shrek 2 at that point so decided to head out and get something to eat. That's where the fun began.
Anyone who knows the Deerfoot, know what type of speed demons and general assholes it attracts. The Deerfoot for the uninitiated is the Calgary portion of the highway that runs north-south through the province, and it's quite dangerous, with lots of turns, ramps and hills, if you're not paying attention, you will get smushed. So we're going down the Deerfoot off of Glenmore and I'm in the centre lane coming up to the bridge just before the Barlow turn off right across from the waste treatment plant doing my dutiful 110km/hour. As I was rounding the corner on the bridge I though I saw, something parked in the middle lane, yes parked. I thought I must have been imaging and as I got closer I saw a dead older model BMW sitting in the centre of the bridge in the middle lane, not flashers, nothing. In a testament to my awesome driving skills (okay, I was paying attention, that's all) I dodged the vehicle and went zooming by; then I thought, somebody should do something about that, or that car is going to get rear-ended and all sorts of bad stuff is going to happen. So I pulled back into the middle lane and did something I thought I'd never do, put the truck into reverse in the middle of that bridge and backed up to the car, I tell ya, that was scary.
I put the truck into park and looked back to make sure the coast was clear. These two kids get out of the car and start to approach the truck completely oblivious to the 100kph traffic flying around them. When there was a break, I got out and talked to them. Apparently, they were driving and the electrical system of the car fried itself and the car rolled to a stop, they had been sitting there for about half an hour with no cell phone and no assistance. After further discussion we learned that they were uninsured and the auto registration had expired, they had no roadside assistance plan and no idea what to do. I felt sorry for them, I truly did, god forbid I should ever find myself in that situation, like come on people, they were there for HALF AN HOUR and NOBODY STOPPED! Someone could have been having a heart attack or something. It is amazing that it did not occur to any of my fellow Calgary Drivers that a car should not be parked in the middle of a bridge on the fastest road in the city.
Anyway, so Tavish and I leapt into action. I called AMA and requested a tow back to their place using my membership, Tavish got them blankets from the truck and we popped open the roadside assistance kit that Aunt Virgie gave me for Christmas and grabbed the reflector pylon and flares and set them out. They tried to give us $20 as a thank you but Tavish wouldn't have it and argued with the girl about it, I could've kissed him right there for that, but my nerves were a little on edge. So then we got back into the truck, put it behind their car, in front of oncoming traffic, and set my flashers on, as the car was virtually invisible and the night was getting pitcher. It's a scary experience I tell you, sitting there while cars fly by you and narrowly dodge you. The adrenaline was pumping all right.
So a few minutes after the truck was parked a mixed miracle happened, a cop car pulled up behind me with their lights flashing. God I was scared. Not so much for myself but I couldn't help but think of those two in the car, if the cops ran their plates, it would be game over, a fine if not jail time and the vehicle in impound. So I hoped out and went to talk with them. They said that if AMA wasn't their soon to tow the car, they'd have their contractor come and do it, something that wasn't ideal for obvious reasons. However, seeing that the flares were out, that everyone was okay, and that help was on the way, the police seemed assured that things were as far under control as they could be and they advised us to get back our car and wait, so we did.
This brings up another point. If two vehicles are stopped in the middle of the highway with flares and hazards doesn't give you a sign something is going on and maybe you should slow down, you'd think that maybe the fact that they're was a lit police car behind them would make a difference. Apparently not. So many people must have been dazzled by the red and blue because an increasing number of people were not turning out of the centre lane and slamming on their brakes just feet from the cruiser, not to mention the idiots that took it as licence to speed-up and speed past. Here is a note folks, when construction crews or emergency service vehicles are active in the roadway, slow down! 40-50kph is ideal; most civil servants do not aspire to being hood ornaments you know.
So, eventually AMA got there (they were in more of a hurry once they realized a cop car was there threatening to tow us, and once a Calgary operator heard the call. I guess the operator at the main call centre in Edmonton though the Deerfoot was a side street and a low priority.) hooked up the car and towed it away. I shadowed the vehicle as I didn't wan the cops to run the plates and eventually they killed their lights and broke off, which shortly there after ended our ordeal. The truck had to pull over and tow the car from the front, so we said our goodbyes and wished them well, I double checked with the AMA guy that they weren't going to get charged for the tow and then Tavish and I headed to the RoadKing truck stop (which was only across the street) for some wholesome greasy truck stop slop. :)
You know, AMA Plus is so worth it.
Man, what a night.
Oh yeah. SLOW DOWN CALGARY!
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