Rantings of a Queer Pagan

Growing up can be hard to do.

The narrators of both “Araby” and “A&P” are young boys who endure a disenchanting moment, in which their ideals become distorted. There are similarities between the boys’ experiences, and there are differences. There are universal features of growing up that these two boys experience, just as all of us do.

The fear involved in growing may be overcome, but it will never go away. Growing up is a process that we cannot avoid, it is one that we are all familiar with. Both boys in “Araby” and “A&P” undergo an experience that changes their point of view of the world around them. In both their cases, the entity that produces the boy’s epiphany is a woman. This is understood, as both boys are young teenagers who are on the brink of discovering intense emotional feelings for a woman for the first time. They are at a point in their lives where they are noticing and fantasizing about women. In fact, in “Araby” the boy’s entire involvement with the girl is manifested from and revolved around solely his imagination and his fantasizing. Similarly, Sammy in “A&P” never speaks one word to his love interest, who he refers to as Queenie. Nonetheless, both boys are experiencing strong sexual desires at this point in their lives.

Both boys encounter a personal discovery in the conclusion of the story. The reader is left with the impression that the boys’ lives have just changed and, that from here on, they will live life with a different set of eyes, ears, and stomachs. In the end of “Araby,” the boy’s “eyes burned with anguish and anger,” as he has come to some understanding and has gained insight. In the end of “A&P” Sammy says, “my stomach kind of fell as I felt how hard the world was going to be to me hereafter.” Both boys feel a sense of shifting values and an altering of their presence in the world. Who they listen to and what they believe will be challenged from now on and society will be viewed in a different way. The idea of conforming to a society’s or a religion’s set of rules has been questioned and rejected by both boys. Both of them have decided to rebel against what their parents or society has taught them. In “Araby” the boy discovers that religion is just as corrupt and unholy as the bazaar is, because money is worshiped just as a God is. He even attempts to buy love when he goes to the marketplace to pay the girl for any particular item.

In “A&P,” in order to impress the girls, Sammy sees himself as a hero because he no longer wants to be associated with the conformity world view. There are differences between the two boys in “A&P” and in “Araby” as well as similarities. Sammy seems to be older and more socially knowledgeable in comparison to the boy in “Araby.” The boy’s upbringing in an all-boys Catholic school tells us he is inexperienced socially, especially when it comes to women. This may also be the reason that he is more vulnerable and exposed when he realizes it wasn’t true love after all. Whereas with Sammy, we get the feeling he knew he didn’t stand a chance.

Each boy encompasses strong sexual desires throughout the story. Sammy is fully aware of his as he intimately observes, examines, and evaluates each of the three girls in their bathing suits. The chunky girl had “a good tan and a sweet broad soft-looking can.” Later, he watches as Queenie takes out a dollar bill, “just having come from between the two smoothest scoops of vanilla [he] had ever known were there.” On the other hand, the boy in “Araby” is not aware of his sexual longings. He says, “Her name sprang to my lips at moments in strange prayers and praises which I myself did not understand.” One night, he describes the rain from inside the back drawing-room using the strong sexual connotation, “…I heard the rain impinge upon the earth, the fine incessant needles of water playing in the sodden beds.” This image portrays rain as if it were penetrating a bed that is soaked. When he is speaking with the girl, he notices the light on her neck and hair and follows it to her dress, then to the boarder of her underwear slip. He notices her hand on a railing, which represents a phallic symbol. Many indications of sexual desire are hinted to us as readers, but the boy himself is oblivious to it. This is an example of dramatic irony.

In the closing stages of “Araby,” we understand that this boy has been hurt and that he has experienced a loss of innocence. He realizes it was only a crush as opposed to true love. He realizes that the church and religion are corrupt and false. We get the feeling that the boy will now withdraw and become defensive, as he has been betrayed by all these things. He has lost his idealism about love and religion. Sammy, in “A&P,” is older and has a greater sense of who he is. He is prepared to battle, he is aware of the consequences, and then he makes a profound decision which he follows through with. He chooses to break away from the conformist society in which he lives. He is confronted with a new reality; that he is on his own and all alone in the big world.

There are many universal aspects of growing up that are recognizable in these two stories. There is a strong desire to put more thought into individuality as opposed to conformity. There is an urge for independence and freedom, and not for conventionality. Both boys decide to break away from their conformist society. They are thinking for themselves and not just following like little “sheep,” as Sammy sees them. There are emotions involved in the process of growing up. Fear and betrayal are implicated throughout this process. The fear of the unknown, of not knowing what is to come or what to expect causes fear and anxiety. The older we get, the less time we have and this, in turn, causes anxiety as well. Growing up is not easy. It is not always pleasant. We are faced with stronger challenges and heavier decisions to make, the older we get. The pressures and the responsibilities that we have continue to grow as we grow. One reason that this occurs is that we stop looking to other people to tell us what to do. Our parent’s job of raising us is at an end, and we take over from here. This position of authority is intimidating, as we only have ourselves to depend and rely on. Last but not least, sexual attraction and sexual thoughts fill our minds as we grow older. Adolescence is especially the prime time for these fantasies and reflections. We gain awareness of our own bodies and the physical attractiveness of others. Also, we feel the need to give love and receive love outside of the family. We want to share in an intimate incident, and we experience feelings of curiosity and intrigue. We begin to reach out to another human being, as we endeavour to connect with them in a cherished moment.

There are many similarities and differences between the two boys in “Araby” and “A&P” and among their experiences. Both boys experience feelings and moments of growing up and all that is involved in the process. Even though at times it can be fearful and threatening, growing up is inevitable as it is something we all endure.

posted by Kasper @ 12:08